"NO!"

"NO!" seems to be my favorite line these days.

With Liam being so active, I sometimes miss the little him - easier to carry, does not complain much, wala pang alam sa pagiging naughty! These days, I find myself giving Liam a firm, "NO!" more and more.  Just this morning, I had to give him a strict, stern "No!" because he was playing with his food! At 3 days shy of being 11 months old, he now knows the concept of being shouted at - he responds by first frowning and then crying out loud :( It breaks my heart to know that I'm the reason for his tears but I do want to raise a disciplined child.  I don't want him to grow up thinking it's okay to do anything at all! The paranoid in me tells me that all the NO's might damage our relationship and might make him hate me or whatever - yeah I know, OA much.  One of my favorite go-to websites, babycenter.com, has an article on the matter.  According to the article, although discipline should be enforced, spanking should never be an option.  I don't have plans of the latter, but H believes that moderate and purposeful spanking should be okay - he wants to be the type of father the his child fears to a certain level.  I think that should be fine, right?

Liam at 2 months, roughly 9 months ago.











Liam with mommy and daddy on Chinese New Year, at 9 months old.









If I were to think of every single thing I would do or say to Liam and it's possible effects both long-term and short-term, I think it will drive me nuts!!! I guess the best I can do is just to make sure that I do all things out of love - after all, what other reason could there be?

Re-posting from Instagram

It's amazing to see how much this little one has grown the past year.  I can tell you about how great a feeling it is to run kilometer after kilometer, or how fulfilling being inside the classroom feels... But absolutely nothing in this world comes close to being a mother.  I'd go through all the aches and pains over and over again for motherhood's sake.  

Cheers to more mommy moments this year and the years to come! :)

I love being a mom!

Pigeon Breast Pump

Is it possible that my manual pump (Pigeon) works better than my electric (the so-called Mercedes Benz of pumps, Freestyle)...? Or could something be wrong with my electric pump? Gahh.  So frustrating.  I read a couple of blogs saying a manual pump will come in handy (if you mainly use an electric one) in the case of prolonged trips outside.  Say, if you go to the mall and did not anticipate having dinner out as well, at least there is a hassle-free way to pump milk.  When I say hassle-free, I mean just carrying this:

Instead of lugging all this around:

Mother's Day is Now MY Day!

Motherhood is both simple and complex.  A friend who visited got so surprised seeing how easily I lifted and carried my then two-week-old baby.  She asked me, "Did you practice carrying? Who taught you?" Did I practice?? No.  And I definitely did not get any tutorials on baby carrying.  I guess it does come naturally - it comes naturally for a mother to want to pick up her son who is crying and wailing, eager to be held and cuddled.  I think motherhood is simple in that sense.  At the same time, complex even as early as pregnancy! When the baby is finally born into the world, I realized there's so much to learn about caring for a little one (what more the rest of a child's life)! What soap to use, when to change diapers, how long to keep a bottle of milk out at room temperature and when to throw it, how to burp a baby, what diapers to use, and the list goes on.  But, yes, like I always say, love makes everything difficult seem easy.  Or at least, worth it....and when you know it's well worth the effort, you forget how difficult it used to seem.

Breastfeeding Woes

Apart from "Government Warning: Cigarette smoking is dangerous to your health.", another TVC line that keeps being played over and over again is, "Breastmilk is still best for babies up to 6 months." So, having heard this repeatedly, I thought breatfeeding was the most natural thing in the world.  Natural = easy.  I was so wrong.  I'm not a breastfed baby so my mom can't really give much advice.

Given that I'd be back in work by June, I ordered myself a dual electric pump (Medela Freestyle).  My mistake was that since I got it the day before I gave birth, it wasn't prepared (washed, sterilized, etc.) and placed in my hospital bag.  In the hospital, I had to breastfeed from Day 1-3.

SUCH A HORRIBLE EXPERIENCE.  If baby wasn't sleeping, he was crying and clamoring for MILK MILK MILK! I had a difficult time making him latch... he would latch, then suck then unlatch and cry wildly.  Then I'd try to find the right timing when he was crying with his mouth wide open and shove my nipple in his mouth to try latching again and he'd be annoyed, and unlatch - basically the same thing for a couple of minutes until he'd finally decide to latch and suck and swallow.  As a first time mom (or maybe all moms in general), it was heartbreaking to hear baby cry, cry and cry! Like I couldn't give him what he wanted! So those were sleep-deprived nights in the hospital (3 nights).  What also added to my stress and frustration was the fact that my in laws and family would be in the hospital, watching me be frustrated with breastfeeding and looking at me like I obviously didn't know what I was doing.  Ughhh.  Don't get me wrong, they have been very supportive, but it just added to the stress knowing they had their eyes on me.  Like it was my fault that baby was crying!

The Big Three Seven!

Finally!!! The moment I have been waiting for, okay, second to the real labor pains, that is! Today, Liam turns 37 weeks in my belly and I'm happy because I know he can come out anytime soon without much complications (but still always praying, of course).  According to my pregnancy references (mostly the iPhone application: Whattoexpect which is based on the book, What To Expect When You're Expecting - have this, too).  I'd have to say, as a first-time mom and one without a lot of pregnant friends, this was really very helpful!

Luckily, my good friend Ritzi lent me the next phase of this book ;)

In other news, I had a really productive day today! Extremely so that I'm so pooped out now! Woke up at about 9AM, had breakfast, lounged around - okay, it gets better - had lunch, did a general cleaning of the room (specifically cabinets, drawers and the like).  I figured I won't be able to do this for a while so might as well.  This was when H went to play basketball (which he does so every Saturday).  H & I had dinner at Cafe Dome in Shangri-la Plaza then walked around for about an hour or so.

Phewwww!

Pregnancy does take a huge amount of effort! From the mere a fact that I've already gained about 30 lbs. or so, I know that it isn't an easy feat.  Hey, not easy to walk around, up and down, with the belly! I do not claim to be the world's most awesome mother since I could not even completely forgo caffeine, hehe.  But I can say that to a certain extent, I've grown so much (not just horizontally) the past 9 months and I just really cannot wait to be the best mother ever to my son.

He can pop out anytime but there's really no telling when exactly - this week, tonight, in 2 weeks...? I hope he doesn't take too long, though.  We'll see! :)

How Can I Not Love You?

I got a text from In My Womb Ultrasound Clinic today and was told that the CD containing the soft copy of Liam's photos were ready for pick up.  So of course I had to troop over to Megamall to get it! :-)

Here are 2 of the 25 photos we got.  Sigh.  8 more weeks before the REAL thing.  We all cannot wait! :-)

Been singing this song for baby... :-)

Take my hand in the meantime
And let's walk into the sunshine
Everybody got something that they want to sing about, laugh about, cry about
It's true
For me it's you <3

What Happened???

I've been so caught up with everything (work, the pregnancy, etc.) that I just realized tonight that it's been a while since my last post! I was already in bed, trying to sleep but, no.  I just couldn't.  So I got up and decided to visit you, you poor blog thing.

What's been up? Well, I am currently 28 weeks and 5 days pregnant, which translates to 7 months!!! Are you thinking what I'm thinking? Yes, I hit the you-can-go-shopping-now, mark! And I have! So far I've gotten:

1 Avent sterilizer
1 newborn kit from Avent which includes 4 bottles (2 different sizes), 1 brush and 2 extra nipples - I'm actually not so sure I'll get to use this and if ever what for, since I'll be breastfeeding for at least the first 2 months when I'm still on leave.
1/2 dozen side-tie shirts with sleeves;  1/2 dozen side-tie shirts without sleeves (both I asked our helper to get from divisoria - pure cotton, but much thinner which I think are good for using during the day so it won't be too hot)
5 plain white rompers from Rustan's 
1 infant nail cutter - I heard that a baby's nails grow so fast to the point that there might be a need to clip the nails every other day!
3 pairs of booties; 3 pairs of mittens; 3 hats/caps - I know this is probably not enough, but I got these at Rustan's (i.e. much more expensive that SM Department Store, I'm assuming).  I can always get more from SM ;)
3 rompers from Debenhams (they were marked down! I was able to get three for about P750)
2 rompers from Mothercare - I just love, love, loooove Mothercare! See?

5 bibs for feeding from Debenhams (also marked down - 5 for P265!)
3 receiving blankets from Rustan's
1 hooded towel from Enfant
2 tie sides from Enfant
3 towels for bathing and swaddling


So far, that's it and that has already cost H and I a fortune! It doesn't even include baby's bed/crib! I think next shopping trip will be in a month - gotta space out the expenses :P I'm going to drop by Mothercare in The Fort this weekend, though.  Plus, saw a couple of stores selling really adorable onesies (I'm crazy about these onesies/rompers) in Greenhills so will check them out tomorrow.

Almost ready for baby! <3

Hello, Monday!

Mondays are usually very tiring for me.  I have 4 classes which are unevenly spread out throughout the day.  Just one class in the morning and then 3 classes in the afternoon! I'm usually pooped on Mondays but what kept me energized? Baby's tiny movements that I could feel throughout the day.  He is indeed a boy, ang likot! I kept feeling bubbles in my tummy all day hehehe.  I can't wait to feel the actual kicks!

**
If you don't know it yet, H and I live with my parents and will be doing so for maybe a few more years.  After all, it's a pretty roomy house for just my parents and brother.  There's an extra room that my mom wants to convert into the nursery.  I was initially against this, thinking that Baby would definitely be sleeping in our bedroom.  I realized, though, that he would need a place to stay during the day where nanny can also stay in without necessarily having to be in our private space.  Also, a separate room would be able to house family and friends who would like to visit Baby :) So, I've been browsing through websites to get ideas for the said nursery.  So many cute ideas!

Project Nursery





Lay Baby Lay

There are just so many ideas! I wonder, though - where to get super cute decoration? I love the ones that go up the wall (stickers, letters, etc.)! I wonder if they have it in Rustan's? Can't wait to go shopping for Baby! Three months to go...mom has requested that I shop only by February (I'll be 7 months then), early shopping might cause bad luck daw.  Well, I don't believe in it but neither am I risking it! 

Baby Bump!

Hooray! I'm beginning to look less fat and more pregnant! My uterus, though has not risen much yet so my bump is still below my navel. But I've already started wearing maternity blouses since 2 of my teacher uniforms no longer fit without any button threatening to pop out! At this point, I have also started feeling baby's little movements. No kicks yet but flutters and what seems like a tiny fish swimming around in me. Amazing. I think if anything, this whole pregnancy has deepened my awe with God and His wonders.

Yup, STRETCH MARKSSSS.  And yes again, that's baby's name (for now).  Liam was suggested by Nini, my sister-in-law.  Looked it up and it means strong/protector - perfect for a dragon baby! As for Jacob, it means "he who supplants".  That's not the reason why I like the name, though.  I've just always been fond of how it sounds (no relation whatsoever to Twilight's Jacob Black, pleeease).  We're not yet 100% sold on this but for now, this stays.

Cheers to a good week ahead!

It's A Boy!

Starting today, H won't be the only man in my life now ;) Just had a 2D ultrasound that revealed that our baby is indeed a cute little boy! :) Love, love, love! Vinny was occupied today so I asked two of my girl friends to go with me - Cla and Aids.  Both gladly obliged and were super 100% supportive.  Maid of honor (Aids) was stuck in traffic, though, so I just had Cla.

Everytime I'm scheduled to have an ultrasound or OB appointment, I'm always nervous prior to it thinking that something might have happened to the baby - paranoid.  Today, two seconds after the doctor put the "thing" on my abdomen, she said, "Oh there's your baby!" What a relief! Even better was that baby was very much active in my womb (which I still cannot feel, at the moment).  His legs and arms were moving! Such a magical moment :) At some point, the doctor even caught the baby thumb sucking! Here's a photo of that:

The doctor asked me if I wanted to find out the gender since some don't opt for this and prefer the suspense.  As for H and I, we'd rather know to be able to prepare better.  The doctor said, "Okay, in that case... baby is... 100% BOY!" The minute she said "100%" I already had an idea she was going to say BOY.  The receptionist/assistant said that at 17 weeks, if the assessment is a GIRL, it may or may not be accurate.  However, if it were a boy, it's SURE to be a boy - the boy, cannot be mistaken for a girl.

I admit that I was hoping for a girl for a first baby.  I think I said that already - so for the first 5 minutes or so, I was a BIIIIIT disappointed.  But eventually got over myself when I saw how cute the little thing was! I can't help but be in awe thinking there's a little person moving and playing around inside me! :) I immediately told my mom and H, and both were ecstatic.  Though mom was also hoping for a girl, she said, "Well, if God wants a boy first, then so be it!"

I must say, In My Womb Ultrasound Clinic is the bomb! They have these little rooms for the ultrasound procedures and in each room, there's a space for guests (family and friends) of the mommy who want to see baby.  Even better, they don't have to peek into the monitor! There's a big-enough HD TV mounted on the wall for them to view the baby.  Awesome! They have clinics in SM MOA, SM Megamall (where I went), The Fort and SM Pasay.  Highly recommended.

ACTUALLY.  Everything about this day so far has been great.

After the ultrasound, Cla and I walked around a bit.  I eventually felt my stomach growl so we looked for a place to eat.  We saw this new Japanese restaurant - Yabu by the Atrium and decided to give it a try.  It's a Katsudon place that has very nice interiors and really good food! Very authentic.  We also had Gong Cha (my first time) which did not disappoint! I think I like it even better than Serenitea.

Here's my friend Clarisse with her Pork Katsudon Set.  It comes with cabbage salad, fruits, miso soup, Japanese rice and a generous serving of pork Katsudon.  Good that they have three different sizes for their meat (chicken/pork/seafood options).  Clarisse got the medium-sized.

I was initially craving for Chinese food so I think dinner will be Chinese.  Waiting for H to pick me up at home and then we'll be off to mass + dinner.  He's in a pretty happy mood since he's been praying for Baby Guce to be a Baby BOY Guce ;)

Today gives me license to check out anything BLUE for baby :p NOT buying YET but at least I can now be more focused on my window shopping! :D

Ah, life is good to those who are good (I try!).

Four Months!

I know I said that 9 months seem like such a long wait...but, hey, I'm four months already! It's not so long as I thought and times DOES fly by super fast! Now I only have 1 month to go before I know the baby's gender and 5 months before baby pops out! Thankfully, gone are the days that I seem to be hugging the toilet bowl for relief...or those days when everything just seems to give me a wave of nausea.  Food is now something I just can't get enough of ;) Throughout the months, I have done a lot of thinking (yes, despite being very busy with work) - the kind of thinking that allows me to really reflect on motherhood and it's effect on my life.  When this pregnancy was very new to me, I'd still feel bad about not being able to run that marathon I so wanted to run early 2012.  Today, I'm just bent on taking better care of myself (yes, I did go home at 12:00 MN last night, eeep!) so that baby and I both end up healthy AND THEN running after baby comes out...which I REALLY hope I get to do! I'm just worried that I might be so glued to baby that I never want to leave his/her side.  We'll see!

My officemate has just recently gotten an ultrasound which revealed she was going to have a baby girl! I admit, I got quite jelly.  Originally, I was hoping for a girl.  Why? 1, free education at the school I work in.  2, I love how close my relationship is with my own mom and always imagined to have the same kind of rapport with my own daughter.  3, I feel it's more fun to dress up a girl than it is a boy ;) Now, I'm thinking...if I do have a girl, that will mean I won't leave teacher in the said school, ever! Of course H can afford sending our kid to school without me having to teach there for free tuition...but what a huge relief if tuition fee were no longer a problem, right? If I do have a boy, plans are... 1, move to either Xavier (might not be so easy seeing that the school's are right across each other...too close for comfort?). 2, stop teaching and do something else...? But I think H doesn't like the idea of #2 so much.  He feels that we will be able to live a more comfortable life in a situation where both husband and wife are working.  Agreed.  Hrmmm, then again, it wouldn't be so bad to have to teach for life...would it?

Ayayay.  Decisions, decisions.  I guess before I worry about these things, first things first...find out baby's gender! It will also make shopping easier - will trim down list of things to buy to just one color...pink or blue! ;)

5 Weeks & Counting

Yup, I suppose that's me! The past week has been (sorry, baby) horrible :( I didn't know pregnancy would be this difficult.  For now, it's still pretty manageable.  I get nauseous about 2-3 times in a day - usually early in the morning and after meals.  I also feel extra tired - like I could sleep at 6PM and wake up the next  day! In a night, I'd also get up to pee a lot more often than usual.  I usually did it just once but now - three would be the minimum.  Still no cravings and no actual vomiting - I hope it stays that way.

Often times, I feel like I lack the energy and zest to actually do anything.  I'm tempted to just stay home and laze around all day.  I told my friend today, after this pregnancy, I'm not so sure I want to experience this again! HAH! We'll see.  Of course I know it's all going to be worth it once I see the little one...but man, nobody said it would be THIS tough! And I'm only in my 5th week (6th on Monday).

My prayer: Dear Lord, remind me always to take care of me, not only for me, but for the life in me.  I pray that I hear a loud and energetic heartbeat come next week when I go for my 2nd ultrasound.  I know I complain a lot but I know You know how grateful I am for this little blessing :)

Oh, speaking of moms, it's my mother's 62nd birthday today! Happy birthday, mommy! I love you so much.  If I can be even just half of how wonderful a mom you are, my child can already consider herself blessed.

A Different Kind Of Joy

Over a year ago, I went to the OB-Gyne for the first time because my period was too irregular.  After a series of visits and an ultrasound, we found out I had polycystic ovaries.  I didn't quite understand what that meant but all I knew was that the older I got, the harder it was for me to conceive.  I didn't think it would be an issue since I was already engaged then ;) But all along, I prepared myself for having a difficult time in getting pregnant.

So you can imagine how surprised I was to see this:

This was just yesterday! I took another test today that showed more visible lines - I guess it makes a difference when you actually take the test.  I was told to take the test first thing in the morning for the most accurate results.  When I saw the positive result, I immediately thought of how I had just taken an x-ray just last Thursday! I know that taking an x-ray was a no-no to pregnant women due to the radiation.

Because of this, I rushed to my OB-gyne today to get answers.  According to her, we'll really only know as the pregnancy goes on - whether or not it ends up in a miscarriage.  Otherwise, if THAT doesn't happen, it should be okay.  On most cases, one x-ray shouldn't really affect the baby so much - after all, it's still a tiny sac! The heart beat should be evident in 2 weeks (when I'm due again for another ultrasound).

According to today's ultrasound, though, I'm 4 weeks and 3 days pregnant and will be giving birth approximately April 23, 2012.  Hubby (H) got his wish: A baby born on the year of the Dragon! :-P

I'm still having mixed emotions about the pregnancy.  I'm scared because it's such a huge responsibility having to carry this baby for 9 months - I'd have to take extra (x100) care of myself! I am also thinking of running and my supposed 21km-run in October, which of course, is now out of the picture.  I asked my OB-gyne about running and pregnancy (since I have a run this Sunday).  She thinks it's generally okay but does not encourage me to run since it's my first pregnancy and everything should be observed and watched closely.  Will still have to find a way to break it to AA, hehe! Aside from feeling scared and not quite being ready to say goodbye to running... the stronger feelings are that of excitement and gratitude.  Grateful that God has granted us this blessing and excited because I know that God has given me the best person in the world to go through the next 9 months (and forever) with ;)

I'm pretty excited for this time two weeks from now since I'll already be able to hear the heartbeat! :-) Until then, prayers, please!