On Patience and Selflessness

Each experience, good or bad, is out to teach us a lesson.  Despite having gone through 9 months of pregnancy (the waiting, vomiting, waiting some more, nausea, waiting a little bit more...), I can't believe that in these last weeks, God still pushes for even more life  (and shall I say mommy) lessons.

Since I hit the 37-week mark, I've been hoping day and night that I'd go into labor, claiming that I was already excited to see Liam - which is true, by the way.  But lately I've been thinking...

I remember years ago when Ms. Sabado observed me in the classroom.  One of the things she mentioned was that she found me to be a bit impatient when it comes to questioning.  According to her, when I'd ask the class a question, I hardly gave what the academe world would call "think time" and impatiently move on to another question, or another student.  She told me I had to be more patient and give the girls time to reflect and actually come up with an answer in their minds, think of how to deliver the answer and then actually raise their hands and give the answer.  That comment of hers always stuck.  I made it a reminder to myself to always be patient, in and out of the classroom.  This time around, at 38 weeks and 3 days, my patience is yet again being challenged.

With much thought, I realized that not only is God trying to give me a lesson on patience, He is also teaching me about the many other ways I need to SELFLESS.  The main reasons why I want to give birth already are...




1) I feel so heavy already!
2) It's so hot!
3) I want to see babyyyy <3
4) I feel so bitter and impatient, seeing that my other batch mates who are more or less due March/April/May have already given birth - and I'm the only one that's left.
5) It even got to the point where I was already having some sort of self-doubts...I was thinking last night, "Does my baby think I'll be a horrible mother?" ... "Does he not think I'm ready for motherhood so he'd rather stay in my uterus?" - CRAZY, I know.
6) I want to be able to work on losing all the weight I've gained already!

Most common in those statements? "I".  I was all about myself and my convenience and my desires.  I learned for the nth time, that motherhood requires that I completely forgo of my needs - well, of course I will have to take care of myself too, but only after I make sure my child has been well provided for.  I try my best to pray the rosary and for the past days, I've been praying for an Easter baby or at least that Liam will decide to come out before my doctor takes a short vacation (5-day HK trip).  H on the other hand, just keeps reminding me, "It doesn't matter when Liam decides to come out, basta safe sya and safe ka." Of course I think to myself, easy for you to say since you're not the one who has to lug around all the extra weight in the sweltering heat! But, I know he has a point.

SO, from now on, I shall just be praying for a normal delivery that will keep baby and mommy safe.  AND I will not throw a fit when someone asks me whether I have given birth already or not - I will just reply with a calm and relaxed, "No, not yet.  Maybe tomorrow." I will try, haha!

Thank You Lord for yet another lesson on patience and believing that everything happens NOT IN MY OWN TIME, but in Your Perfect time.