Firsts

Whenever Liam's awake and alert, I try as much as I can to chat him up and do some cooing and oohing with him, to encourage him to talk back.  Lately, he has been very active with his baby talk, so happy.  Husband says, "Blame it to his overly talkative mother." Guilty :P Anyway, last, last Sunday (May 20), I saw baby's first big smile! :)

I tell you, there is nothing like a smile like this to make all the hard work worth it.  I remember this one batch mate from college saying something like, "Having a baby is so much hard work but you'll love it so much you won't mind." So true.  It really is SO MUCH HARD WORK!!! Most especially for the mom! I used to think, the mom carries the baby for 9 months ++ , delivers the baby...and STILL has to deal with the stresses of breastfeeding?! In as much as it's all done by the mother, I learned to see it this way: Instead of complaining about why everything has to be done by the mother, I just see it as MY privilege to be able to do all these for Liam :) In everything, it's all a matter of perspective.

Shields for the Breasts (har har)

These are what you call breast shields :))

Breastfeeding, I've always wondered whether I was using the correct set of breast shields.  You see, the Medela Freestyle Pump comes with 2 sets of shields... Pumping with the bigger set, I feel a certain amount of (tolerable) pain while I'm at it.  I researched on different sites, mostly the Medela website, and found that I'm apparently wearing a size too small! I also found out that having the wrong size of shields can affect the output of milk expressed.  Hence, I contacted Maricel Cua of the Medela House to ask about the availability of Medela Freestyle parts, specifically the breast shields and sizes.  Thank God it was available! I actually told her (through text) about my pumping experience, hoping she could tell me whether I needed a different size or not.  To be entirely sure, she said I could come over and test the different sizes so I'd know for sure if it was right for me or not.  I told her I was still on ge lai so I couldn't just yet.  So, Day 2 of being free from ge lai, I run over to the Medela House and get myself fitted for the bigger shields.  Turns out, I did need them!

My goodness, what a huge difference it makes to have the correct size!!! I tried pumping once I got home and boy did I get more than I usually did, so I'm a happy mommy! Hoping this only gets better!

On a side note, I love how strong the support group is for breastfeeding.  For instance, texting with Ms. Maricel, I was so grateful for how she patiently replied to my queries about breastfeeding and Medela parts.  Also, I chanced upon this blogger who posted about her BF experience, I wanted to get tips and some support so I e-mailed her and she replied promptly, not to mention, with so much information! So, so grateful.

Edit: This morning, got to pump 1.5oz... in 40 minutes, that is, but STILL! :)

Also, I know direct breastfeeding is still the best but for those like me who pump 90% of the time, here are tips to increase milk supply from kellymom.com.

One Month After

Happy one month to my little dumpling!!! :)

Mixed emotions on this day:
1) It's already been a month? Don't grow up so fast!
2) One month palang??? When will you finally be able to speak up and tell me what you want instead of just cry?

The sentiments of a first time mom who, 80% of the time, is not sure she's doing the right thing. Percentage is higher now, though. Used to be about 98%, haha.  Anyway, it's been a month of being sleep deprived, tired like anything on most days (and I already have a yaya, at that), paranoid about the littlest of things ("Close the door!!! Baka may pumasok na lamok!!!"... But inspite of how things have changed in our lives, of course, like most other moms, I wouldn't have it any other way :)

Today also marks my FREEDOM! ...from ge lai which is that Chinese tradition I spoke of weeks back. I can now go back to regular food and can also go out! And I did, this morning! Went out with my mom to go grocery shopping.  Inasmuch as I enjoyed going out, I have to admit, I missed the little bub! :-D

Breastfeeding Update:

I posted about my breastfeeding experience about 2 weeks back and until this day, I have been very diligent in pumping (I only go 5 hours without pumping at night, when I go to bed).  Sad to say, the most I can pump in a sitting is still at 1oz., both breasts combined.  See?

I'm still on Fenugreek and Moringa and I am also STILL hoping that my supply will catch up.  But, well, if it doesn't, I'll just take it as God saying His plan for Liam really is to be mix fed... I really don't want to stress myself out too much anymore.  Kung meron, edi meron.  Kung wala, edi wala! I think the important things are:
1) Kahit papano, he gets some breast milk from me. I mean, some milk is still better than none at all, right?
2) He was able to get colostrum when I was in the hospital.
3) He's not starving!

There you go, that's the first 4 weeks of Liam's life done! Cheers to the next weeks, months, years.

On Going Back to Running...

It's been almost a year since THIS.  Where am I now? Well, first of all, I realized that although my blog states that I'm "on the run", I haven't been doing any! I know I have the best excuse ever, but enough is enough! It has been 11 months since my last REAL run around the Greenhills area (where I normally run).  Although I have the the best excuse to gain weight and lie low on running, it's still no reason to be unfit and chubchub now that baby is out! So. because having goals work with me and motivate me well, here's my realistic timeline for going back to running and getting back in shape:

Mother's Day is Now MY Day!

Motherhood is both simple and complex.  A friend who visited got so surprised seeing how easily I lifted and carried my then two-week-old baby.  She asked me, "Did you practice carrying? Who taught you?" Did I practice?? No.  And I definitely did not get any tutorials on baby carrying.  I guess it does come naturally - it comes naturally for a mother to want to pick up her son who is crying and wailing, eager to be held and cuddled.  I think motherhood is simple in that sense.  At the same time, complex even as early as pregnancy! When the baby is finally born into the world, I realized there's so much to learn about caring for a little one (what more the rest of a child's life)! What soap to use, when to change diapers, how long to keep a bottle of milk out at room temperature and when to throw it, how to burp a baby, what diapers to use, and the list goes on.  But, yes, like I always say, love makes everything difficult seem easy.  Or at least, worth it....and when you know it's well worth the effort, you forget how difficult it used to seem.

Officially Saying Goodbye to Pregnancy

...at least for now.  I realized it will be awhile until I become pregnant again (birth spacing please) so I decided to compile my favorite pregnant photos so I'll have something to remind me of myself with the Liam bump ;)

This is H and I in my best friend's wedding, with me about 8 weeks pregnant.  Barely showing, still.  Although I do remember having to go out and buy a dress for the occasion, as my dresses have already gotten tight around the abdominal area!

Here with my partner in crime, seat mate for almost 6 years in the faculty room.  I'm about 17 weeks pregnant here ;) Taken during the school's Recognition Day.

Doctor's appointment on my birthday! Here I am at Cardinal Santos, about 22/23 weeks pregnant and showing off my Anmum pregnancy booklet thing.

Breastfeeding Woes

Apart from "Government Warning: Cigarette smoking is dangerous to your health.", another TVC line that keeps being played over and over again is, "Breastmilk is still best for babies up to 6 months." So, having heard this repeatedly, I thought breatfeeding was the most natural thing in the world.  Natural = easy.  I was so wrong.  I'm not a breastfed baby so my mom can't really give much advice.

Given that I'd be back in work by June, I ordered myself a dual electric pump (Medela Freestyle).  My mistake was that since I got it the day before I gave birth, it wasn't prepared (washed, sterilized, etc.) and placed in my hospital bag.  In the hospital, I had to breastfeed from Day 1-3.

SUCH A HORRIBLE EXPERIENCE.  If baby wasn't sleeping, he was crying and clamoring for MILK MILK MILK! I had a difficult time making him latch... he would latch, then suck then unlatch and cry wildly.  Then I'd try to find the right timing when he was crying with his mouth wide open and shove my nipple in his mouth to try latching again and he'd be annoyed, and unlatch - basically the same thing for a couple of minutes until he'd finally decide to latch and suck and swallow.  As a first time mom (or maybe all moms in general), it was heartbreaking to hear baby cry, cry and cry! Like I couldn't give him what he wanted! So those were sleep-deprived nights in the hospital (3 nights).  What also added to my stress and frustration was the fact that my in laws and family would be in the hospital, watching me be frustrated with breastfeeding and looking at me like I obviously didn't know what I was doing.  Ughhh.  Don't get me wrong, they have been very supportive, but it just added to the stress knowing they had their eyes on me.  Like it was my fault that baby was crying!

5 Things I've Recently Discovered About...

..My Husband:

1. When it comes to Liam's soiled diapers, he has no qualms whatsoever in cleaning up. Prior to baby, he'd always give me that grossed-out look when I mention changing nappies. Now, I'm the one who watches by the sidelines when diaper contains poop, hehehe. In all fairness, I have no issues with pee :))

2. Although he treasures his sleep, he is as alert as ever the minute baby lets out a cry. Or sometimes when I beat him to it but need his help, I go, "Alvin!! Help please." and he's on his toes in an instant.

3. He loves cuddling and playing with Liam. His favorite is letting Liam munch on his NOSE. Yes, I've told him over and over that it's not hygienic!!! Haha.